Navigating Scary News with Kids
During times of conflict and crisis children and adults alike experience a range of emotions including anxiety, stress, confusion, sadness, and anger. As adults, we often underestimate the impact that global events can have on children. Kids are incredibly perceptive and often pick up on the emotions and conversations happening around them, before the adults might realise. Whether they hear about it from the news, overhear discussions, or see images on social media, they are likely to be exposed to these challenging topics.
Here are some tips on how to approach these difficult conversations with your child, and ways to provide them with support and comfort.
1. Start by listening.
Create opportunities for conversation with your children or young people at an appropriate time by asking open-ended questions to understand what your child knows and how they feel. This will help you tailor your approach to their level of understanding.
If there is a crisis or conflict it is very likely that school-age children and teens will have heard something from media outlets, social media, teachers, or peers, so it’s important to allow children the opportunity to ask questions or express their concerns. It is important that you do not assume what they know or how they feel, ask open ended questions and respond to any concerns they may have. Understand that what they are thinking and feeling may not be the same as you or what you might expect so remain open minded as the conversation flows validate their feelings and concerns.
Ensure you allow enough time to have this conversation properly and without distractions, where possible try not to have this conversation right before bed or other times that you know your child or young person is already likely to experience heightened emotional states (tests, sleep overs).
2. Keep it age appropriate.
When addressing difficult topics, it's essential to remember that children have different emotional needs based on their age and developmental stage. While children have the right to these conversations, adults have the responsibility to keep the conversations emotionally safe and reasonably manage children’s exposure to distressing content.
You know your child best, so navigate this conversation with care and a personal understanding of your child. Use age-appropriate language, monitor their reactions during the conversation and be sensitive to their level of worry, gently stopping the conversation if you notice it to become upsetting them.
Keep in mind that younger children can experience heightened states of distress from news or information because they might find it difficult to understand the difference between what they see and hear from their own reality. This misunderstanding can lead to little ones perceiving an immediate threat to their safety, even though they are currently safe and secure.
Whereas, if older children come across concerning content on social media or the news, they might experience fear and anxiety about the situation escalating or even feel personal responsibility to act.
As always, its ok to let your children know how you are feeling, sharing that you are upset too, however, keep in mind that children look to the adults around them to make sense of things and may take emotional cues from you, so try not to over-share your fears and try to remain calm during these conversations. As much as you can, reassure your children that they are safe from danger, reminding them that there are people working hard to keep everyone safe.
3. Focus on the helpers.
When something scary happens, there are always those who are there trying to help. No matter the conflict or crisis, there will always be some helpers, working really hard to do their part. Highlight the individuals and organisations that are working to make things better. Show your child that there are always helpers in the world, whether it's doctors, aid workers, or even their own community members raising funds and awareness. By encouraging a focus on these positives, you can assist children to move their focus from the distressing images or thoughts, reducing their fear, and supporting a sense of hope.
4. Monitor and manage the news.
It is important that as adults we try to manage the influx of distressing content that children have access to, being mindful that many social media platforms used by young people are key sources of information and at times misinformation.
Have conversations with your child or young person about exercising critical thinking, encouraging them to consider where they are getting their news from or if its reputable. Consider setting boundaries on the types of media that your children consume and or watching together. By watching together, you create space for discussion, follow-up questions and emotional support if needed.
5. Continue to check in.
Remember to check back in with your children. Emotions can change, and they may have more questions as they process the information over time. Continue to offer opportunities for them to share their thoughts and feelings to ensure they feel supported and understood.